Friday, April 11, 2008

Why can't we be friends?

While I officially joined the blogging world over a year ago, I've really only been consistently blogging for about 6 months.

I admit I was quite clueless about the whole blogosphere; I still am in many ways.

However, one of the things that is interesting to me is how quickly a post can ignite a debate...even to the point of getting folks a little on edge.

Now the men (bless their hearts) would probably nod their heads sagely and say it's because we're a bunch of women...and they may be right about that.

I've thought this over a little bit and had to ask myself this question "Why do we all have to think alike?" I mean, granted, it's normal to prefer to hang around with like-minded people; but couldn't we possibly glean something from someone who doesn't think exactly like us?

I have friends that I strongly disagree with on certain issues, but feel no need to bring it up. After all, if I wanted someone who was exactly like me, I would simply talk to myself in the bathroom mirror...

I understand there are some boundaries we might not want to cross; you'd never find me on a feminist blog...I know that's very shocking to those who read here.

Someone once said "Every man is my teacher; I can either learn what to do, or what not to do from them." That makes some sense to me.

I myself faithfully visit only a small group of blogs, mainly people who I have felt a connection to, or find interesting in some facet. I don't think these people are all exactly like me, that's probably part of what makes them interesting...

Part of what prompted this whole "musing" post (yes, I am merely musing) is the various discussions that seem to be taking place in the blogosphere concerning frugal living.

I think everyone means well in their take on it all (think positive) but many seem to have strong feelings about it all; perhaps it all comes down to each person's interpretation being different.

Many of the bloggers I read qualify as being frugal; but that isn't the reason I came to, or still faithfully read their blog. It was the fact that I felt like there was something I could glean from them.

I read one comment on a blog that had me shaking my head wondering why someone would waste their energy in such a way. It said "Frugal people seem to always want to brag about it...many with a holier than thou attitude." I'm paraphrasing here...which means I'm probably putting it nicer than they did.

If you feel frugal bloggers are bragging about their frugal ways, or raising themselves up as better than others, I think you are very mistaken in your thinking...but you could always read another blog more to your way of thinking...what a novel idea.

And I really do mean that in the nicest way:)


Minimalist Mommy said...

Wow that is an interesting view on it. I am fairly new to this blogging thing as well and have noticed some sites on frugal living that brag and I sometimes wonder if they forgot the point of why they are being frugal. I do it because I am now a new stay at home mom (down to one income) and I see what the kids in today's society have and what stuff can do to people. I have seen day in and day out what debt does to oneself and their families and will do whatever I can do to prevent my kids going down the same path. I don't want to be ruled by my stuff and want to put more emphasis on family and good times. I am going to be honest that it is difficult at times and I can be distracted by things but writing and sharing this keeps me focused and hopefully on the right track. Plus I love meeting new and of course different people. Seeing others poing of view forced me to look at other and possibly better ways to do things.

P.S. it was not your computer on the link. I was having so much propblem with the site, it was up and down like a yo yo all weekend. It is a new site and there are still bugs to work out. Love computers...sometimes. Have a great day.

Marva said...

Hi sweet friend! It can be taken too far sometimes. I like to show off my bargains, to help others see that it is possible.

I live blogging and my blog buddies! I do not think that I am all about stuff and In definately am not materialist. Ten years or better that was the story.

Great post. Everyone has a opinion and it is great to see how everyone interupts frugality.


MyKidsMom said...

MINIMALIST MOMMY: I wrote this in defense of my frugal blogging friends because I DON'T feel they are bragging at all; while the braggers may be out there, all of the frugal hackers whose sites I visit are just nice people who love their families, and have chosen their own idea of being frugal, and enjoy sharing it with others. I am AMAZED at the almost viscious words some of these people used, and I really felt that it was wrong to let it slide by. One of the reasons I enjoy your blogs so much is the lack of pretense I find there; you're not preachy or telling people they have to be just like you, you just share what you have incorporated into your chosen way of life. THAT I admire~

Marva: I think what you do is GREAT; you show people an avenue where they can have an opportunity to save money (how else would I have known about Targets coupons?) and you enjoy it. It's not right for people to lump everyone into one group and declare them to be so and were one of the people who, when I read this comment on the other blog, I thought of and it made me...quite irritated. Please NEVER feel the need to defend yourself in this area. I don't care WHY someone is frugal, I just ADMIRE that they are!

Marva said...

You are so sweet! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

By the way, could you use some more coupons? I've got some extras and thought I would send them your way, if you like.....


MyKidsMom said...

Coupons are ALWAYS welcomed here!
Just let me know if you need my address again; thanks:)

Nikki said...

You're right; there are too many blogs out there for people to waste their time reading ones they don't like. I sure don't!

Marva said...

Well said Nikki!

I have still got your addy......I will get them out tomorrow or Tuesday. Blessings!!!!

Kristy said...

Well said! I agree with you- if you can't say something nice,then keep your mouth shut! I rarely (if ever) comment on blog posts that I disagree with. Not that I'm a milly-mouse, but I simply don't see the point in starting an argument... which isn't going to change any one's mind, anyway!

~Kristy @ Homemaker's Cottage

Southerner said...

oh wow, I certainly need to make sure to try to word my shopping posts in a way that is not interpreted as bragging. My intent is to just share with my sisters in blogland my bargains because you all GET IT when other people look at you like you are crazy to be excited over the price of food, or something you found sitting on the side of the road. Part of me wants to inspire you with how I take something that was lonely and discarded and given it a home and loved it again. I also want to show others how to buy more food for less money so they too can eat too much. 18 years ago when I was expecting our first child and I wanted to stay home but hubbie only made about $14K a year the only way for me to learn was by reading magazines, books, and watching the Home show. I searched for how to cook inexpensive meals, learned to smock and sew, read budgeting and all the lists in mags about how to cut electricity and water and food budgets. This is the new generation (blogging) of how to teach those new to all of this and it is so much fun to save money and be creative.